The Pitfalls of My Imagination

I have a confession to make. I did not fully read the article that we were supposed to for homework for today. At least my mind was not fully there considering it was about two in the morning when I read it. I do not recall it being so disturbingly gruesome, so when I reread it in class today I was beginning to feel sick to my stomach, slightly light headed and by the time I left I managed to get a headache. I do not do very well with the whole blood and guts scenarios. I blame this on my exceedingly vivid imagination. I think my brain takes me places that most do not. Either that or I just do not handle the situations well, but I will blame it on the imagination.

I have found that my imagination has been both beneficial and harmful. I have been able to use it to really dig into a book in such a way that I feel like I am there alongside the characters, have peculiar daydreams and produce art, my favorite being in the form of a collage. Although many good things come from this trait,there are many more memories I remember where it has not been so constructive. I was one of those children who got a running start before flying into my bed because I was afraid of what creatures might be living under there, when I saw shadows on the walls I was sure someone was there to get me, and I would often have the reoccurring nightmare of a pack of wolves devouring my entire family and leaving me to fend for myself.

What was worse than scary dreams was my decision to watch the movie The Sixth Sense one evening in 1999. It has caused me so many nightmares and restless nights, even days. I scared myself into thinking that I was being followed and around every corner was someone or something that would attack or scar my thoughts. I believe I cried myself to sleep most nights for almost a month after seeing this film. I even asked my parents to go to therapy. Thankfully these fears havemostly filtered out as I have gotten older, but I will still find myself recalling random bits of the movie every once in a while. Especially the scene where Hayley is using the restroom with the door slightly ajar and someone walks by. To this day I still make sure that the bathroom door is fully shut if I am inside, even if I am not using the facilities. People will often share a quiet chuckle with each other when they find out that I will not be within eyeshot of the movie let alone watch it because they do not find it scary. But they do not know the whole story and I do not typically try to recall those nights where I would stay up just to make sure no one would get me while I was sleeping so I take the insensitive chuckles if it means I can ignore the memories for one more day.